Ekkusu no Studio phase 4.1.
Happy 44th birthday, dearest Yoshiki ♥!!
The last time i updated my skin was on Yochan's 43rd birthday, and a year had passed. I'm glad that his surgery went fine and i hope he's recovering well. Don't neglect your therapy, Yochan, and hope to see you next year in China ^^
God bless your abundantly!!
(o^___^o)
TVfXQ - blog entries
love,
ekkusu
Always - chat and wishlist
Keep - blog links
The - profile
Faith - past skins
A fan of JRock music and bands. Most favourite band of all time: the legendary band, X Japan.
Loves its leader, drummer, pianist and main composer, Hayashi Yoshiki , usually called Yoshiki.
Loves one of X's guitarists, Matsumoto hideto, or usually called hide, and
one of the best vocalist I've ever heard, Deyama Toshimitsu, or usually called Toshi.
A list of favourite bands and artists/singers:
Versailles Philharmonic Quintet
(members: Kamijo (vo),
HIZAKI (gt) ,
Teru (gt) ,
Yuki (dr), ,
Jasmine-You (ba) ,
Tohoshinki or Dong Bang Shin Ki or TVXQ
(members: Xiah Junsu (mid-high), Micky Yoochun (mid-low), Youngwoong-Hero Jaejoong (lead), Choikang-Max Changmin (tenor), U-Know Yunho (bass))
SKIN
(members: Yoshiki (dr, pi) , Gackt (vo, pi), Sugizo (gt, vi), Miyavi (gt))
Lareine
(members: Kamijo (vo) , Mayu (gt), Emiru (ba), Machi (dr))
Kamijo (vo)
(bands: Lareine, Versailles
HIZAKI
(bands: HIZAKI grace project, Versailles )
Mana
(bands: Moi dix Mois, Malice Mizer)
Raphael
(members: Kazuki (gt), Yukito (ba), Yuki (vo), Hiro (dr))
DuelJewel
Dir en Grey
L~Arc en Ciel
Janne da Arc
Psycho le Cemu
GLAY
Luna Sea
Rentrer en Soi
Siam Shade
Was part of management committee of Endless Dream website and
ScreamingKIAI International forum, dedicated to Yoshiki and his music.
Alumni of the following schools:
Jakarta, Indonesia:
TK Genesis
SD Tarakanita III
Penang, Malaysia:
Chung Ling Private High School
Singapore:
Kent Ridge Secondary School
St Margaret's Secondary School
Pioneer Junior College
St Andrew's Junior College
Wednesday 25 April 2012
So, everyone knows I've been doing internship in my current company for quite a few months now. Just about 2 months ago, my bosses called me in and said that they liked me and how I worked and they would like to invite me to join the company for a full time job after my internship. Labels: job, life stories, musing, sad
I was so glad! I mean, it would be my first real job, the official-official real job, not internship-real job, you know.
I told my family, I told my friends, I told my colleagues if they asked about where I would go after my internship was done. I made plans with my boyfriends and started having long-term view in our shopping, buying household items that previously deemed unnecessary because we would only be spending a short time in China.
They gave me 2 months to think about it. Well, I didn't need 2 months. Last month, during our appraisal day, I told one of my bosses that, yes, I would like to accept the offer. I made inquiries about the salary, one of the main factors why my parents let me continue staying in Beijing instead of coming back home right away. I talked with one of the managers that, yes I think I would stay longer in the company.
Meanwhile, I knew the company was having financial problems. We have revenue, but most of them in accounts receivables. We've been in the red since new year and Chinese new year and things had improved only slightly in the last month of Q1.
Here, I would like to quote my investment teacher who said, even if you played Forex and you suddenly win 1 million dollars through market turbulence, you're not rich. Not until you take the cash out of that profit and hold the physical money in your hand that you can say that you're rich.
Just today, my operation manager told me she wanted to have a word with me. I've been building up the tension ever since, expecting it to be about my employment. Would it be about the contract? Would I be asked about the benefits? Should I negotiate any benefits? I would want to be able to fully support myself in China, so I would need at least 4.5k after tax, so should I tell her that? How would I negotiate the terms?
When we finally had a word, she gave me a bad news: they're retracting their offer of giving me full time employment after the internship.
I was caught real off-guard at the moment, because it was completely not what I was expecting the whole day long. It kinda stupefy me for a while; I could see myself nodding, I could comprehend their reasoning, I told myself 'I knew this might come'. But, really, I was shocked. In a cool-headed way.
Later on another one of my manager called me in and talked to me about it. The content was more or less the same with my operation manager. They kept emphasising that it was because of my fit with the company (skills and experience) and my professional plan (I was planning to stay in Beijing for, at most, another year), that it wasn't because of my lack of competence, that they were impressed with my professionalism considering that this was my first job, that there had been a heated discussion and it wasn't an easy decision to make, to let me go.
I heard it, I understood it, but at the same time I didn't.
I didn't understand why, how could it happen? What happened?
Later on, as I was able to think more about it - I'm really kind of slow- and reflect upon the implications of the situation, I wondered, was it really because of me? How much percentage was it the company's factor and how much was mine?
If I wanted to appease myself, I could always make myself believe that, yes, it was the company who was having cash flow problems. If it wasn't that, they wouldn't let a gem such as myself go to waste.
But, really, that's being foolishly arrogant and ignorant.
I want to have better chance of getting a better job in the future, so I have to know how much had that 'fit' affected my chance of staying in the company. I was just an intern, but ever since the beginning, I worked like as if I was employed full time. My boyfriend gave me an encouragement, "work like as if it was your own company!" and I did. I completed all the tasks given to me, providing extra effort which wasn't asked for, all the while trying to find what I would like to do in the future. I gave every single task 100% of my effort, I was diligent, I did everything that I could.
But, in the end they wouldn't employ me full time. And they cited my skills and experience.
And it really just made me go, why the heck did I take that MBA for? I'm obviously heavy in title and lacking in real working-world experience, and that made me a pretty nice flower vase, with no flower. Empty. Useless.
I understand that because of my short term plan in Beijing, it made it hard for them to consider investing in me. But it also made me think, nowadays people come and go so easily. Was I really doing myself a disfavour by coming clean about my future plan? Would it have been better, for me, if I told them I was going to stay for another 5 years in Beijing? Were they advocating employees to lie so that they don't lose their jobs?
I don't know. Everything is still full in my head now.I don't know what to think, other than knowing the fact that we have just purchased a blender and it was still on the way, and there's possibility of us having to go back in a couple of months time. Which brought us back to the title of this post: don't count your chicken til you have it in your hand. Don't make assumption unless the deal is stamped and the contract is signed.
Sigh.
Will continue this once something clears up in my head.
Not a good day. Really.
1:32 am
Thursday 12 April 2012
Clothes. Shoes. Bags. Jewelry. Accessories Make up. Perfumes. These are the things that all girls supposedly love. Labels: beauty
The more I ponder about this, the more I wonder if I'm actually a girl, because I have minimal interest in all of those above.
Most of the time, I bought my clothes and shoes out of necessity. Shopping is a chore, not a leisurely activities, and I expend energy choosing and buying clothes and shoes instead of being energised and relaxed. It's even worse here in China where all those haggling really made me shun shopping; even the mere thought of having to go get a necessary item, like a winter coat or a lighter shoes for spring, is mortifying. Now that the weather is getting warmer, I'm groaning inwardly thinking about the summer jacket I have to get to protect myself from the sun. Auurghh...
If buying clothes and shoes are rare enough, then buying bags can be considered a milestones for me. On average, I use one bag for about 1-2 years or as long as the materials hold up. Surprisingly, I remembered the bags people give me as present the most. One of them, an OP sling bag, was used for more than 2 years before I finally gave up and accept that I need a bigger bag for school. Right now I'm using the bag my boyfriend's mom got me. Maybe not surprisingly, those presents were also the most expensive bags I've ever owned.
I used to be interested in jewelry, especially earrings, when I was younger. I got my ears pierced when I was a teen, so, naturally, I became really interested in decorating my ears with cute things. There was a period of time when I was half obsessed with earrings and studs I had quite a collection of cheap trinkets. None of those actually last more than a few weeks, months at most, coz they were super cheap.
I was also interested in necklaces and bracelets too. But now, I only wore them out of habit and half superstition. In fact, the more I see myself in the mirror and the more I reflect upon my attitude towards all things girly, I wondered if I'm an anomaly in the population bell curve.
I do know what I like though. I like pretty colours. I especially like to see the pretty colours of make up kits. In the flight, I love to browse through the cabin magazine and see all the make up..stuff that were being sold. What gloriously adorable colour palette!
Having said that, I'm really not a make up person. I'm too lazy to be waking up an hour early to put on make up. I'm too careless in the day not to accidentally touch my face and rub my nose or scratch a cheek. And I'm simply mortified seeing the price tags on those cute eye shadow palettes.
Quite recently, though, I stumbled upon something I probably shouldn't have (damn you, Youtube!) and I feel this growing urge to put on make up. It's http://www.frmheadtotoe.com/'s fault. Yes, Jen, your fault.
You see, I love seeing those beautiful colour palette on the eye shadow kits and sweet blusher shades, but I am absolutely clueless on how to put them on. My beauty regime actually starts from washing my face with a sponge and facial foam, followed by generous amount of moisturiser, a layer of sunblock or BB cream in the summer, a (or a few) swipe of blusher at the apple of my cheek, and lipbalm. Wash, rinse, repeat.
I might have repeated this before, but when I was taking Mandarin, I had a Korean classmate who came to visit my dorm room one day. She sat behind me on my desk, which was also my dressing up station, and asked me where I put my make up. I pointed to her my whole arsenal of skincare: a tube of Gowoonsaesang BB cream, a bottle of Garnier moisturiser, a pot of Garnier night moisturiser (I don't know why I bought that, trust me), a Nivea tinted lipbalm, a box of Body Shop pearls iridescents, a small Body Shop retractable brush, and a tweezer. Oh, and a mirror and a comb.
There was silence as she blinked her eyes a few times. Then, very gently and with a pat on my shoulder like a concerned mother, she told me, "dear, you must take better care of yourself!" And she proceeded on to tell me how unacceptable such (mine) behavious is in South Korea where all girls must put on make up lest they show that they're not self-respecting. And she ended with an indignant cry and half a threat for me to start putting on make up or else.
What an adorable girl. And, oh, she's younger than me by 5 years. O_O
From that point of time until now, there hasn't been much changes in my make up arsenal, except that now I have a couple of blushers from Sephora, which was a splurge for my standard. And I hadn't been thinking of changing anything...until I stumbled upon FromHeadToToe...
Curses.
That blog has threatened my way of life, forced me to questioned my identity, prodding my inner soul: do I or do I not want to look as pretty as Jen?
Hell yes, of course I do! But it's not that simple isn't it? But who am I to challenge her??
Have you been to the blog yet? Have you seen any of her make up tutorials? Seriously, if she can make a girl like me want to have a Sigma F40 angled blusher brush (god I even learnt the names!), she can make anyone put on a make up.
And it's not a fair fight! Have you seen how cute she looks? And if you've watched her video, you'll also notice how friendly and humble she sounded, and how freakingly easy she made putting on make up sounded like. And take a look at all those gorgeous eye shadows and sweet blusher palettes that she has!! And did I mention how cute and pretty she is??
For 3 days straight now I've been hooked on the blog, reading and watching past entries while grabbing a mirror and try to practice putting on blushers on my cheeks and stuff. And I don't stop there! I'm also dreaming about getting that Sigma F30 and F40 brushes, alongside some eyeshadows and eye brushes and eyeliners and...and.....
And it's not cheap! I'm just a lowly intern who can't afford to spend a bomb on make up, seriously. Watching her being all cute and pretty on the video, putting on make up so easily and simplifying it for people so that it does become easy, and seeing all those pretty colours and how gorgeous she looks after everything was done...
I'm sure she had bewitched me into walking towards my own gallows.
Though, coincidentally next month is my birthday, so maybe there'a a summer Santa working in odd hours who'll be sympathetic with my case and drop me a full set of all them Sigma brushes and eyeshadows and blushers... Who knows?
Will go pray later. Now I have an eyebrow to pluck.
See ya.
12:49 am
Monday 9 April 2012
Best idea I've heard in a long while: Labels: article news, interesting idea
http://technode.com/2012/04/05/all-the-chinese-college-girls-are-saying-shixiong-i-need-your-help/
And who says Chinese can only do imitations?
On another note, I just found out that Wordpress is no longer blocked in China.
I may be creating another blog there, so that I can easily post pictures and stuff from my mobile phone instead of waiting to come back home to in the office to get VPN access..
12:30 pm
Friday 6 April 2012
Just finished watching a video, two, six videos about makeup tutorials, and something clicked in my head. Labels: beauty, life-at-large, musing
It's not the I-figure-it-out-click but more like a hey-i-just-realised-click.
There are so many of these videos in youtube. Just now I watched 6 videos from 4 different girls. One of them seemed slightly more mature, maybe my age or slightly older, but the others looked so young! Like school kids! I mean, I just left school last year, but these are like high school or at the most undergraduates.
Anyway, it seemed like makeup tutorials nowadays had taken a more uniform look than many years ago when I last check. Now, they would definitely tell you the items that they're using, showing it each time before they put it on and even held the items against their skin to show the colour and for the camera to gain focus on the wordings. And they also tell you the kind of brushes they're using.
And this brush thing is the one that ticked me off.
They have, like, a brush for an element. And trust me when I said there are LOADS of elements in a girl's makeup. An eye can take up to 5 different lotions/eyeshadows! And a brush each??
I mean, I don't do make up, but I have been out hunting for blushers, and that's why I know the price of a brush.
It's not cheap.
Granted, I'm still just an intern, and my measly pay can barely cover enough for my daily expenses of food and whatnots, much less to be able to afford a whole set of brush AND 5 different eyeshadows just for a look.
These kids must have spent a bomb on their makeup kit...
Kinda makes me wonder if I am the anomaly here.
Hyesoo told me that in Korea, if you don't put on makeup when you started your year in university, you'll be seen as someone who doesn't have self-worth/respect.
But I...
-_-...
Hmm...
I'll look for that old BB-cream of mine tomorrow morning.
1:27 am
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CD Wishlist
JaeChunSu - The... (preordered)
JYJ - Thanksgiving Live in Dome DVD (preordered)
Tegomasu - Tegomasu no Ai minialbum
Versailles - Ascendead Master (mini movies in Limited Ed singles type I,II,III)
Yoshiki - Eternal Melody 1
Versailles Philharmonic Quintet - Jubilee (major debut album)
Jejung & Yuchun from Tohoshinki - COLOR~ Melody & Harmony/Shelter Double A single
Tohoshinki - Stand By U single
Dong Bang Shin Gi - Rising Sun album
Tohoshinki - Five in the Black album
Tohoshinki - Heart, Mind, Soul album
Dong Bang Shin Gi - Tri-Angle album
Tegomassu - Tegomassu no Uta album
Tegomassu - Tanabata Matsuri
NEWS - Touch
Tegomass - Miso Soup
Yamashita Tomohisa - Daite Senorita
Hizaki GRACE Project - Ruined Kingdom
Hizaki Grace Project - Dignity of Crest
Within Temptation - Mother Earth or Silent Force
Saint Preux - Concerto Pour Deux Voix
Lord of the Rings Complete Recordings
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers Complete Recordings
Raphael (Kazuki) - Forever and Ever
Raphael - Raphael Singles
X - Vanishing Vision Album
X Japan - Dahlia Album
X Japan - Art of Life ~mini album
X Japan - Art of Life ~live
L'Arc en Ciel - Smile
Hyde - 666
DVD Wishlist
Tohoshinki - The Secret Code live in Tokyo Dome
TVXQ - All About TVXQ Season III DVD <--- !
Versailles Philharmonic Quintet - Chateau De Versailles DVD
Versailles Philharmonic Quintet - History Of The Other Side DVD
X Japan Returns Complete DVD 30th/31st December 1993
Versailles - Aesthetics HIZAKI version, with perfume Princess Stairs
Versailles - Aesthetics Kamijo version, with perfume Louise
Hizaki Grace Project - Monsho
Raphael - First
Raphael - Last
Raphael - Raphael Clips
Raphael - Pictorial Poem 2
X Japan - Art Of Life - 1993.12.31 Tokyo Dome
X Japan - Dahlia Tour / Dahlia Tour Final
X Japan - Complete Collection II (which, upon acquiring, will cancel the earlier 2 DVDs mentioned)
hide - Film The Psychommunity Reel.1
hide - Film The Psychommunity Reel.2
hide - Seventeen Clips - Perfect Clips Presented By Hide Museum
hide - Ugly Pink Machine File 2
hide - Alivest Perfect Stage 10000 Cuts Hide Hide Hide
CD In Possession
Versailles Philharmonic Quintet - Jubilee (major debut album)
Tohoshinki - Bolero/Kiss The Baby Sky/Wasurenaide Triple A single <--- !the perfect single!
Tohoshinki - Stand By U single
Dong Bang Shin Gi - Mirotic album (Platinum edition)
Tohoshinki - T album
Tohoshinki - The Secret Code album
Versailles - Ascendead Master (Reg + Ltd Ed. DVD Type I, II, III)
NEWS - Koi no ABO single (Reg and Ltd Ed.) <-- i'm selling the regular edition, contact me if you're interested (only for beijing, singapore and jakarta buyers only)
Versailles - Prince & Princess single
NEWS - Color album
Versailles - Noble album
Tegomass - Ai Ai Gasa single
Tegomass - Kiss ~Kaerimichi no Love Song single
NEWS - Summer Time single
NEWS - pacific album
My Chemical Romance - I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love
HIM - And Love Said No, The Greatest Hits 1997 - 2004
HIZAKI Grace Project - Curse of Virgo single
Hyde - Faith
Yui - Can't Buy My Love
Versailles - Lyrical Sympathy mini album
Yoshiki - Catacombs Soundtrack
HIZAKI - Maiden Ritual ~experimental edition
HIZAKI - Dance with grace
Raphael - Fumetsuka
Within Temptation - Heart of Everything
X Japan - Blue Blood & Blue Blood Special Edition
X Japan - Jealousy & Jealousy Special Edition
X Japan - The Last Live
X Japan - X Japan on Piano
X Japan - B.O.X (Best of X)
X Japan - X Japan Perfect Best
X Japan - Best Fans Collection
Yoshiki - Eternal Melody II
hide - hide BEST Psychommunity
Malice Mizer - La Meilleur Selection de Malice Mizer "best selection"
Moi dix Mois - Dix Infernal
Gackt - Mars
Dir en grey - Macabre
L'Arc en Ciel - Awake
L'Arc en Ciel - The Best of L'Arc en Ciel 1998-2000
Luna Sea - Never Sold Out
Glay - Speed POP
Glay - Rare Collection vol.1
Glay - Rare Collection vol.2
Glay - Love is Beautiful
Glay - Drive, Complete Best
GLOBE - Level 4
Aikawa Nanase - ID, Best Album
Hamasaki Ayumi - Duty
Every Little Thing - Every Best Single + 3
V6 - seVen
V6 - Very Best I
V6 - Very Best II
My Chemical Romance - Threee Cheers For Sweet Revenge
My Chemical Romance - The Black Parade
DVD/VCD in possession
X Japan - X VISUAL SHOCK DVD BOX 1989-1992
TVXQ - All About TVXQ Season II DVD Set <--- ♥&hearts♥
NEWS - Pacific Concert 2007-2008 and First Tokyo Dome Concert
NEWS - Never Ending Wonderful Story
Happy Feet Japanese version - Tegoshi Yuya as Mumble
X Japan - Aoi Yoru Shiroi Yoru Complete Box
Yoshiki - Yoshiki Symphonic 2002 featuring Violet UK
hide - Ugly Pink Machine File 1
X - Hamettsu ni Mukatte 'On The Verge of Destruction' Concert
X Japan - The Last Live
X - X Clip 1
Phase 3.2 (2008)
Phase 3.1 (2008)
Phase 2.0 and 2.1 (2007)
Phase 1.2 (2006)
Phase 1.1 (2006)
Phase 1.0 (2006)
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v457/arsenalx/ekkusuphase32c.jpg
featuring: Yoshiki
about: Yochan underwent a surgery to correct his spine, a problem that had persisted since 1995, when he finally started to feel numbness in his fingers. the surgery went fine, thank goodness. hopefully he will recover completely and it doesn't affect his piano playing. as for drums...don't forget your neck braces everytime you drums, yochan!
etc: read below xD i've made too many layouts featuring Yoshiki i don't wish to repeat myself =P
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v457/arsenalx/?action=view¤t=ekkusu3.jpg
Featuring: Versailles
Background: formed in 2007 by founding member Kamijo (ex Lareine) and Hizaki (ex Sulfuric Acid), they released their debut single Revenant Choir which tells a story about a clan.
Just as like Kamijo's past works, Versailles tells a story through their symphonic metal music and extravagantly elaborate costumes inspired from antique European era.
Members: Kamijo (vocals), Hizaki (guitar), Teru (guitar), Jasmine-You (bass), Yuki (drums)
etc: Versailles beautiful music managed to win my heart totally. saddened by the loss of Jasmine-YOU in 2009, but i hope the 4 of them will still make great music from now onwards. rest in peace, Jasmine-YOU, and watch out for the guys from up there...
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v449/arsenal_x/ekkusu2.1copy.jpg
featuring: S.K.I.N.
Background: Formed in 2007, performed first during Anime Expo at the States in May.
Members: Yoshiki (drums, piano, guitar), Gackt (vocal, piano), Sugizo (guitar, violin), Miyavi (guitar, shamisen)
etc: ekkusu phase 2.0 was lost because i didn't save it in photobucket (because it refused to upload it properly).
and so, from now i'll start my skin from phase .1 instead of .0
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v457/arsenalx/ekkusunostudio1-3.jpg
Featuring: Hiruma Youichi
Model's background: manga character (Eyeshield 21)
More about the model: quarterback of Deimon Devilbats, The Commander From Hell;
the backbone and the brain behind Deimon High School's American Football Club, The Deimon Devilbats.
Icons: various facial expressions of Hiruma, the maniacal, elven-faced leader of Devilbats ^^
Etc: Eyeshield 21 is a sports manga about American Football and it's one of my current favourite.
My rating for them is:
hilarity 10/10
excitement: 9/10
intellectual level: 9/10
drawing: 7/10
characterisation: 9/10
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v457/arsenalx/?action=view¤t=yoshiki56trialwithrollovercopy.jpg
Featuring: Hayashi Yoshiki
Model's background: leader, drummer, pianist, main composer of legendary band X Japan (1982-1997); leader, drummer, pianist,
guitarist, composer of band Violet UK, debut coming soon.
More about the model: Yoshiki in the early X Japan era in early 90's when he still has long curly locks.
Etc: YOSHIKI IS MY HERO AND IDOL!
http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v457/arsenalx/th_yoshiki46copy.png
Featuring: Hayashi Yoshiki
Model's background: leader, drummer, pianist, main composer of legendary band X Japan (1982-1997); leader, drummer, pianist,
guitarist, composer of band Violet UK, debut coming soon. Born in Tateyama, Chiba (Japan) in 20th November 1965 and currently living in Los Angeles, California (USA).
Head company of Extasy Records, Extasy Japan and Extasy Records International (now defunct). http://myspace.com/yoshiki
More about the model: the faint background picture of Yoshiki was taken in the recent years when he's already cut his hair short and
started the habit of wearing sunglasses.
Icons: pictures taken from Yoshiki's house in LA: his front door, piano in the middle room, dining room and swimming pool.
Etc: I can write essays on Yoshiki, but let's just keep it simple and straightforward: YOSHIKI IS MY HERO AND IDOL!